Where did I go?
I was so gung-ho about this blog 2 weeks ago and now I’m losing steam. It’s not that I’ve run out of things to write about, in fact, I have a lot of ideas, I just don’t know where to start. I feel like when I started I was dead set on doing my best to not give a shit about what anyone thought about my writing. I write it, I like it, I publish it, it’s done. Somewhere along this short journey I let fear in, and I let it take over.
What if this incredible community of people who have accepted me with open ears decides they no longer deem my writing worthy? What if they start to hate my posts? Every time I post my followers will get an email saying I posted something. Sometimes I get really annoyed when I have 10 emails from the same person in one day. To me that’s just excessive. What if someone feels that way when I post 3 times in one week? I don’t want anyone to feel that way.
I’ve been trying to do a lot of “soul searching” lately because I’m at a crossroads in my life where I honestly have no clue what I want to do with my life. Yes, I want to make it as a writer. I’d love to write for the rest of my life and survive on that. What if someone reads this and has read the rest of my work and says: “Is this guy serious? There’s no fuckin’ way he’s gonna make it as a writer. His writing is shit.”
We all get self confidence issues, we all have self doubt. I’ve given in to the doubt and it’s stopped me from writing.
Tonight I say no more.
Tonight I say “fuck you” to the doubt–to the fear.
Whether my writing is good or not it doesn’t matter anymore. I have a voice, and I’m using it, and I’m saying whatever I want to.
I can’t say I’ll write as much as I was before, but I’ll be writing, and that counts for something.