I was trying to think of something to write when out of nowhere I remembered a bunch of embarrassing things I did when I was younger. Why these memories have stayed with me through all these years I’ll never know. Some of these things I haven’t thought about in years–but for whatever reason, they show up right now. In that moment, it hit me that this is what I’ll write about. These meaningless anecdotes of a time that I embarrassed myself years ago.
- This one wasn’t embarrassing back then, but now, looking back on it, it is. I spent a lot of time as a kid playing on my own. My sisters weren’t as interested in hanging out with me, so I’d figure out ways to have fun alone. For whatever reason, I thought that playing with a broom was the best way to have fun. Not like pretending to sweep or anything, I would stand the broom up, and then punch it down. More often than not the broom would lose it’s balance before I could punch it, and it would fall down naturally. This wouldn’t have been so embarrassing, but I did this all the time–outside. The whole neighborhood could see me hang out with my best friend–a broom.
- 6th grade was a tough year. A lot of my friends had gone to the other middle school in the district. Since I couldn’t bring my broom to school, I figured I should make new friends. At this time, I had dyed my bangs blonde. I couldn’t tell you why–but it was a choice that I’d made at that time of my life. Looking back, I know I looked like an idiot, but I was so excited when I debuted my new look. In my social studies class, a few kids took notice of my dual colored hair and started asking questions. For whatever reason, I insisted that my hair just GREW THAT WAY. I argued with two classmates about it for a solid 15 minutes, until they just gave up on me. When I finally grew it out, I kept with my original story and said I wasn’t sure why my hair went back to all one color. It happened again in 8th grade, when my bangs turned red. We’re not sure what made that happen, but it stopped within the same year.
- My family and I went out to eat one night, at a restaurant where you could hang your coats up in the front entryway.
SIDENOTE: Why don’t I see that anymore? Are we all just too untrusting to leave our coats for an hour?
As we were leaving, I looked at all these coats and thought it would be so great to wrap my arms around them all in a gentle and loving embrace. Mid hug, I realized that one of the coats was moving, as some lady was wearing it. To this day I have no idea how I didn’t realize that one of the coats was literally on a person. She was super friendly about it, but I was terrified. Maybe I’m the reason restaurants don’t let you hang your coats up at the front anymore.